Confession Space

Most people who know me are familiar with the fact that I love previews and I have been known to say that previews are the whole reason for going to the movies. Sometimes, the preview is so excellently done that I am disappointed with the actual movie and then I just youtube the trailer on a fairly regular basis. There's a whole list of trailers that I watch every week even though I've seen the movie. (Never Been Kissed is the #1 best trailer in America. Try it.)

I'm an odd duck. It's fine. Anyway....

What fewer people know about me is that I have a weakness for music videos that are corny and cliche. Whatever. I watch them anyway. Especially all those ones with random love songs cut in with scenes of a fictional couple. Buttercup and Westley, Tony and Ziva, Arwen and Aragorn, you name it. I even engage in the occasional love triangle music video, because the harry potter triplets are just so much better when they aren't actually talking.Cheese freaking Whiz, man. but the cheese whiz applies to non romantical videos as well.  Every time Hey Ya comes on Pandora I have to youtube the NCIS version because the part with the wierd special sound effects at the end is cut in with a clip of tony doing a raptor impersonation and it is just so dang brilliant. This habit is probably dumb and pop-culturefreakish. At least I admitted it, right?

What no one knows about me is that I am a closet music video maker.Not that I have ever actually made a music video. I just think about it in my brain. You know how people say they sometimes dream in black and white? I dream in previews and compliations of scenes that are matched with a thematically perfect song. You think I'm joking.


But.

You're wrong, and I'm a freak.

Yep.

No matter how serious things are I find that there is always a Tiny little speculator in the back if my mind thinking, this is serious. this sucks. but if i could just get a camera angle from over there, this moment would fit perfectly with the bridge from that one lifehouse song... My consolation in life is that even the most dramatic sucky things guarantee that sometime I'll be able to create a music video for it in those hours between sleep and awake.

Someday someone will invent the technology that will allow me to share with the world all of the movie trailers in my head that are spawned from my own life experiences. My family and friends and possibly the bum who sleeps in my chair on the fourth floor of the library who I named narcolepsy man will all be flattered and awed because they are heavily featured. Except some, namely narcolepsy man, are on the recieving end  of the mean jokes and clever schadenfreude that posesses all my sleeping brain creations. But the rest of you are safe. I like you.

(Do you ever seriously wonder if you have an undiagnosed mental illness? I do. Every day. Because I write things like this and then I read them and think to myself, "Self. You are a raving lunatic." And then I post them on the Internet. )

Mazeltov.