Sunday, August 21, 2011

Once I heard a story about a musician who dreamed music and would write it all down when he woke. I always envied that kind of creativity, cause I just can't do it. And then this summer, I started dream writing. I remember thinking, in that place somewhere between sleep and awake, that I was writing prose in my sleep, and I remember thinking, with some measure of pleasant surprise, that this stuff was better than anything I've ever written whilst awake.

And then comes the dreadful feeling of knowing that the God given hour of creation I've been granted will slip away when I wake up. I wrestle there within my own mind, wanting desperately to just wake up and write it all down before it disappears, but knowing that if I wake up it will stop.

And then it stopped for a while, and I slept peacefully, not worrying about the mental wrestling matches that exhaust me. The prose writer inside my sleep cycles had surrendered. And then the poetry writer woke up.

That's right. I've started dreaming in poetry.

I don't know if I can handle it. This morning I woke up and laid in bed for a while, trying to remember. Nothing came. Have you seen Dragonheart? I feel like Brother Gilbert, who, seized by a moment of inspiration, spouts epic poetry. Then, as the moment ends, he returns to his senses and shouts,
"That was good! What did I say? What did I say?"

I'm stuck on the cusp of wonderland, and I might be going mad.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

guys. i fell off the planet.

I realized today that I have been all caught up in taking care of my life that I haven't even thought about the blog for forever, minus the moments when my sister tells me I need to blog more, or my dad starts sticking his face in my neck and tells me not to post personal things on the internet.  ( what I can't figure out is how he made it through nineteen years as my father and didn't know that about me until I put it on my blog.)

So update time, and then I'll start thinking about blogging material again.

- In a week my whole life is moving to Logan. I'm moving into my new apartment, starting my new job, going to all new classes, buying new books, aka a whole heap of the greatness that is Shakespeare. And then I will cozy down in my old chair in the library and read Cymbelline.

- Erin and Ben moved and took the children with them. And it's great and they are all excited about starting school, be it Kindergarten or PhD. In the meantime, I took Matthew to the Children's museum at Gateway today and wished Libby was there so I could break up fights, and ached for Emma Lemon to crawl around in the balls so she could scream at me when I took them out of her mouth. Matthew is entirely too well behaved when he is on his own. It's more exciting when I have to referee ahem break up the ring matches. It's all worth it cause they kiss each other goodbye when the fighting is over.

- I have a car now! Ben and Erin are nice and left their silver car with me when they moved across the country. And I named him Jedediah and got car insurance and reset the presets and everything.
("Car insurance, huh? You're being a real grown up!")  So when I move next week, I can just shove all my stuff in my car and go for it! Freedom!

-  Also, I can't decide if I should keep dyeing my hair red or not. Also, I don't know what haircut to get. In short, it's a dumb girls dilemma. I'm rather ashamed of the fact that these hair options have taken up any significant portion of my attention. But they have, and they probably still will. What do you think, internet? Red or brown, short or long, bangs or no, a line or straight? (Help. Please?)

- Also, I want a diet coke. That is all.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Sheesh. SHEESH!

Things are happening around here. Every aspect of my life is currently visiting the Oprah show getting a flash makeover. And I feel all whirlwindish and stuff. Hence, a list.

- Herbie, aka the Demon Cat sent by Satan to maul me has moved into my house. Aka I am frustrated because he is actually cute and pretends to snuggle and then.... wait, he knocks lamps down on my face and mashes my ceramic things to smithereens and knocks everything off my bulletin board and draws blood from my limbs, because he HATES me. And then he tries to snuggle some more.

- People are getting engaged. Which really means that Katie has been gifted a diamond and is no longer going to be my roommate. Which makes me feel all conflicted inside cause I am cheering for that marriage right there, but I am crying about the roommate deprivation that will soon occur. Ba.

- I am soon leaving my current job to start a new job. I will miss my old job and having inside jokes and being called spaz and knocking over the cheese shaker and having "how many pieces of sausage can you spear on that knife in three tries?" contests. But my new boss says they have dance parties, so I'm pretty seriously excited for that as well.

- School starts once more. Back to life in the Loganville. I have missed Logan. I am excited to move back to Logan and have a kitchen and new roommates and Taco Tuesday and the underwear tree and my chair on the fourth floor of the Library. I might even be glad to see the guy who sleeps in my chair on the fourth floor, who has been affectionately dubbed narcolepsy man.

-My brother Alex is coming home again, maybe to have a huge surgery. And then, joy of joys, he has to go back to Arizona. And that whole roadtripping to see Alex idea that I was gonna do this summer didn't really happen because college is expensive to the tenth power and I am poor. And I am grumpy that he has lived there for like four years and I haven't been there yet! (you know why? cause we're slackers. that's why.)

- The crowning glory. My sister is moving to North Carolina. Yeah! All the way across the freaking country. Which means that Erin and Ben are packing and feverishly averting disasters that come with putting your whole life in a van and dropping it into a different state. Aka, the whole fam damily is having a collective stroke. Will we recover? That remains to be seen.

- People are moving out. People are roadtripping and flying with small children and shuffling cars and shuffling jobs and buying new cars and quitting jobs and getting engaged and married and divorced and making disaster cakes*. People are getting so stressed that they start singing everything to make themselves feel better and dying from stress. Blood pressure is shooting up, and other kinds of pressure too. 

Long story short, this is where we're at:

"Wait till Erin hears that! Bloody Hell, she'll say!"