Wednesday, December 12, 2012

" That messipe might be screwed up!"

or, What Happens when Erin and I spontaneously Bake.*
or, "It was worth it to move to North Carolina just for this!"*
Sometimes, Erin tickles me and I try to stab her with my pen.

Erin: "Ben, this is where you give me a high five....with your lips."
Later, Milla repeats the phrase whilst writing it down, and Ben's delayed reaction is a horrified:
Erin: "Liars go to Hell!"
Ben: "Where do swearers go?"
Inside joke tacked on as an afterthought: "And tea drinkers go to the telestial kingdom."
Erin: "That is dangerous doctrine right there! You know you will teach that in family home evening and then your kid will say it in church."
Ben: "That's why I only teach it in Sunday School."
Milla: " Sea Turtle! No dangerous half doctrines over here."
Ben: "So where do the sea turtles go?"
Erin: "The celestial kingdom, of course. Where all animals go."
Ben: "How do you know?"
Erin" All dogs go to heaven! Ben, Don Bluth is Mormon."

Milla: "Where's the bloody timer?!"
Erin: "It's there, but if you choose to use the one without blood..."

Erin: "She's going upstairs, Ben! Now she's gonna burn the cookies!"
Milla: "I set the bloody timer!"

Erin to Ben, who is explaining to her the ramifications of the recipe she just half tripled and half one and a halfed: "Yes, I know. Thank you, Chemist of the Family."
Milla: "Well, did either of us earn the title?"
Erin: "SHHH! I'm going to think."

Erin laying on the floor, blowing a raspberry at Milla above her, maybe laughing hysterically: "All that came back in my face! Note to self: If you're gonna spit into the air, make sure you aren't lying down!"

Erin: "I'm going to pee! Not because I need to that bad, it is just going to happen."

Erin: "She put her hand to her brow with a spatula in it and make this hacking noise! And now I think she has to pee!"
Milla: "No I don't! Look I'll stand erect!"
Erin: "Then why were your legs crossed like that?"
Milla: "My legs weren't crossed, I was standing on one hip. You don't even know what that means!"

Erin: "I'm too tired to psychoanalyze you tonight. Some other time, okay?"

Erin/ Yenta the matchmaker: "Right? Of course right!"
Erin/ Bill Cosby at the dentist: "I hope that you are satisfied. I hope that you are satisfied!"

Erin: "BLAST! I miscounted. Oh I forgot to add the other butter!"
Milla: "Well these aren't done. Well they are in spots, but they won't come off the pan, soo..."
Erin: That is your problem. I don't wanna hear about it."
Milla: "Well don't whine about miscounting to me."

Erin: "That awkward moment when you can't tell if it's flour coming off your mixer....or smoke from the motor."

Erin, whining at the table about her side which is aching, doesn't notice Milla resolutely clap her hands together and stick it on the spot....
Milla: " I just did the Miyagi move on you. Is it helping?"
Erin: "No, but you saying Miyagi helped. Do it again!"
Milla: "Miyagi do karate! Miyago voice."

Erin: " That is your hip bone! What do you think it was, a rib?!"
Milla: "Well, how can you tell, really, when it doesn't protrude at all?!"

Also, we had this thing in choir back in high school where we would laugh really stupidly, aka "Hoo Hoo Hoo!" the whole time and it is this weird thing where it sounds so stupid that you cannot stop. So this one time Erin and I were tangled in a heap on the kitchen floor laughing and I started doing it and Erin couldn't breathe cause it made her laugh so hard. Basically, she is powerless against Hoo Hoo Hoo. And she was begging for me to stop, so naturally, I kept at it. But she thought I was making fun of her, apparently....

Erin, indignantly: "I'll have you know that I'll never do it again, but if you keep doing it to make fun of me, you'll be the only one who sounds like a jackass!"
Milla, fighting for air: " You never did that! I wasn't making fun of you. I was only doing it to make you laugh... I was always the only one who sounded like a jackass."

                                             And apparently, I look like one too.

*Erin convincing herself: "That Messipe might be screwed up."
Milla having an epiphany: "And that is the title for the blog that's coming out of this!"
Erin: "Wait! I want credit for it!"
Milla: "Well, obviously I'm gonna put it in quotation marks..."

* We say that on really good days, and after we talk to Sister Yerkes, and after going to Ayr Mount, and when Emma yells, "Pillow Pillow!" and hugs your knees. Totally worth it. 


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