This is the name of a game once played by Katie the roommate of the century, in a walmart with her boyfriend. And then she taught it to me. It is part of the awkward hands theory, and is also generally a rhetorical question. But I really wanna know what y'all think, because I thrive on awkwardness so much now that when it is accidental I sometimes feel that my awkwardness radar is skewed in comparison with the average human. And I am just not sure and you have to tell me, so I can reset my awkwardness radar, if you will. Thus, some recent (potential) awkwardness.
Once upon a time I went to Mission Prep class. Here away from the Utah bubble where the majority of people in my age group are not preparing for a mission, I am generally the only person in the class. There is also a boy named Donovan who comes roughly half the time. So we don't generally have actual teaching practice scenarios cause it is just me. But tonight Donovan showed up. So Brother Nicholas told us we would be teaching an impromptu lesson and to pretend we were companions. At this point Donovan looks at me and says, " We're senior missionaries, I guess." Which was fine, and not awkward. And then we were teaching and Brother Nichols told us at the end that we would be doing this all the time, and was talking about how a lot of successful teaching is learning to trust your companion, and invited us to take planning time outside of class and exchange phone numbers, and apparently we are "permanently companionshipped". If I didn't know better, I would think the twinkle in our teacher's eye meant he was planning something, but I do know better, and am thus even more weirded out. What is with all of this man's marriage metaphors in a mission prep class? I think he isn't terribly excited about Donovan's dating status, or mine. But this isn't exactly the way to fix it.
Once upon a time I went to work, and I was in the back corner digging my hat out of my purse talking to Garret when Adam comes over. He high fives Garret, and turns to me. At this point, I had both my hands behind my head fixing the strap on the hat, and coworker Adam comes and hugs me instead, but it was weird, cause my arms were up at my head and I was not hugging back so much as being squeezed. And this is not a non committal side hug, you know? Like, there were sides of faces touching and stuff. Picture me tentatively patting his shoulder, cause that is all I managed to do before I was released. We have friendly work relationships and real small bubbles. You learn something new every day.
Again at work, I was in the back during my break and the Sysco guy was there. His name is Mike. I have met him before, but when Danielle asked if we had met, I said "Yeah, we met before" and he said "No, we haven't. Hello, Amy!" Friendly, right? Enthusiastic, that's good? Now picture that with a handshake offered really inside your bubble, and a tall man leaning over you with his face also really inside your bubble. ( Yep. Leaning. Like, " Leaning involves wanting, and accepting. Leaning")* Now picture a handshake where Mike takes my hand, pulls me over next to him and swings his other arm around me. I couldn't decide whether to comment on the fact that he didn't remember meeting me before (even though I remembered cause he was enthused that time as well, as he is in general) or the fact that some real awkwardness just went down. But he let go pretty quick, and it seemed like too much effort anyway, so I sat down and decided not to care. But really, is that not a little odd? Nobody seemed to think so. Southerners.
So. I am pretty sure that we are all just friendly people here and none of this is concerning. (I really hope so, cause I am not so much concerned. Pretty sure I left the sexual harrasment behind at the sandwich place.) But please, dear people with accurate awkward radar, on a scale of first date to "let's go for a walk"**, what are these? How many awkward hands are we holding up here?
Need Input. (Number five alive)
* Five Hundred points if you know the movie. Two thousand extra points if you are saying "I know karate!" in a Joe Junior voice.
** This phrase is a cleverly disguised " I'm breaking up with you/ This unofficial dating venture is ending, thanks". Ninety three percent of the time, based on my experience. And that folks, is a bigger percentage than the return rate on the bend and snap, so really, who can argue?