Monday, November 5, 2012
You know y'all live in the South when...
1. You avoid a near accident caused by a deer, but it is three miles from my house instead of somewhere deep in a canyon. You also see deer in parking lots, ndb.
2. You are called sweetheart on a daily basis by people you don't know. ( I really like this part of living in the south. Honey and darlin' aren't too bad either.)
3. Insults and rudeness are coupled regularly with the aforementioned terms of endearment. Like the really rude parking guy on campus last week who called me honey. I think the "honey" made it worse. Normally I can shrug off rude parking guys; they are common enough. But the mixture of the snotty tone of voice and the pure condescension of "honey" made me wanna smack him.
4. You learn what kale is, and acutally eat the stuff. It's kind of gross, not gonna lie.
5. Thunder looks like strobe lights.
6. You fill out forms and in the address space, there is room to draw a mini map and description of the location of your house, in case you don't actually have an address.
7. You have a really hard time not imitating accents automatically. (Story there, Coming soon to a blog near you!)
Also, my Utah Mormon bubble has been broken, y'all. I work in a catering business. I have recently learned what are apparently really basic things like how red wine is not supposed to get cold, only white wine. Also, the difference between wine glasses and water glasses, and how it's almost a criminal offense to mix up the sweet and unsweet tea. ( A thing I am careful never to do, cause if there is confusion, they just tell you to "run a taste test", something else which spawns awkward situations.)
I don't know if anybody noticed, but I am beginning to be a big fan of "y'all". I'll just have to have parties with Mark more often when I come home.