Saturday, February 18, 2012

Concerning and/or Mildly amusing

You probably all know about Matthew by now. And if you don't it's time you do. I don't know how you are all still living and breathing without a small redhead to make you laugh so hard you shoot milk out your nose, but here's some nephew joy. I am spreading it all to the world like the benevolent giver of joy you all know me to be.*

This weekend, I got kind of annoyed with life in general and decided on a whim to pack my car and scurry on down to Headquarters for the long weekend in order to avoid a long weekend of snarkyness and the inevitable guilt I feel when I watch the office instead of going to the gym. And when I got here and walked in the door, I was greeted by a lovely mother and a little boy who ran to hug me and tell me he missed me. Tender, right? I know, but it gets better.

When Matthew's daddy brought him home to his mom, I was laying on her couch giggling about the absurdly awkward creation that is Breaking Dawn. And I guess he didn't know I was sleeping over cause he walked in the door and started yelling "Aunty! You're here!". And then he danced and clapped his hands and announced that he had lost another "toof". And we all got done admiring the toof and talking about how he wouldn't be able to chew if he looses any more toofs, and then I noticed that there were little stains on his pocket. When asked about the little stains, Matthew coolly replied, "Don't worry. It is just the blood coming out." He followed this with a sincere apology to his mother about getting blood on his pants. Huh.

The next morning Matthew woke me up, and during that period when I pull a pillow over my head and mumble that I am not getting out of bed today( like the ray of sunshine I am in the morning), matthew decided to tell me a story about his imaginary friends, Humphrey and Kate. They are wolves and I think they came from a movie. Anyway, I sat up and listened when Matthew began telling me that Kate and Humphrey have been "concerning" him, and he is just really concerned. I asked of course, what was concerning him, specifically. And he said "Well, they have been looking at me weird. I don't want them to look at me." do you say?

So I mention this to Bekah later on and she says, " You know what? He told mom yesterday that she was mildly amusing."

And then I was hiding around a corner to scare him, and the attempt was successful, but I twisted my shoulder weird in the attempt and scraped my elbow on the wall. So Matthew is standing in the kitchen laughing hysterically cause I scared him and I am sitting on the stairs rubbing my shoulder. I tell him he should come kiss my arm better and he laughs harder, but walks straight over to me, stops laughing, looks me straight in the eye, and with the seriousness of an attorney, asks, "Which arm?"

Stunned surprise. "This one" He kisses it better.
"And here." Kisses elbow better. Walks away and starts laughing again, probably at something he is throwing in the air. 

So there he is. Some other quotebookage from the weekend:

" Aunty, stop it, you goof! You goofball!"

" Well, if you do that, I am gonna lick you, obviously!"

" You are doing offense and I am doing defense! Ball's in your court!"
"Aunty, just stop doing the defense, and then I will be able to get ya!"
" I am offensing! Let me offense!"

He is obviously the coolest redheaded boy in the world. He uses advanced phrases and vocabulary and thinks it is not a big deal when blood gushes from his mouth.

* that is right. I am still slightly snarky, and that generally manifests itself in excessive sarcasm.

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