Today, the unthinkable happened.
A calamity so large and disastrous that I don't even know what will happen because my creativity is drained.
I took a nap. On freaking accident.
I went to the library and got cool books after class cause I felt like it and also cause I don't have anything new to read minus some Jane Austen and sometimes we have fights, Jane and I. Today we are fighting.
Anyway, so I told Jane to shove it (in my mind, of course, because if people knew that I have conversations with my favorite authors on a regular basis, I'd get sent to a sanitarium. Sometimes I feel upset that I have schizophrenic tendencies and then Doestoyevsky tells me it's fine.) About three in the afternoon, after I told Jane to shove it I got in bed and decided to read for a little while before studying up the place cause I have a math test tomorrow and those are always, always, always, a big deal/the experience from hell.
And then I woke up at 8:47 p.m.
And I felt this mixture of panic and mind-swearing and a calm rested feeling and I am pretty sure I haven't felt that good since eighth grade.
So here's the thing. Today I was talking to my Math Professor about how I have trouble with math tests and how last test I felt so good about it and then I failed with capital 50. So I was, of course, flipping out a little bit because I feel like I am really prepared for this one too but that is apparently no indication of how it will really turn out.
And the guy told me:
- that I have test anxiety
- that I should meditate
- that I should just calm down and stop worrying
(I didn't know that he was talking to my mother.....)
So now I studied a little bit but I also slept for like six hours instead of studying. And I can't decide if that is good or really, really, bad. Cause I am well rested, right? I feel great as a result of that accidental nap, so I think that I choose to feel calm about it.
Good? or BAD? Also, what happens if I fail another one? Also, I should just shut up and stop arguing with myself about it because I know how to factor polynomials and I know how to do functions and I can even do the zero property principle problems and stuff.
be calm. be calm. be calm. great song, by the way. be calm. be calm.