Thursday, April 7, 2011


to the non swearing alliance.

This week has been very good for me. Because I did not realize how deep into the swearing vortex I had sunk until I made a pact not to do it anymore. (by the way. annoying event. Shane told me today that I was "not part of this" and it was just him and katie. jerk! "remember how you said, wanna get in on the no swearing contest?" I almost killed him. aka I wanted to but didn't because he is bigger than me and I don't think I could even without my current weakened, maybe pneumoniated state. wow, this was a long tangent.)

ahem. so swearing. I would name all the times I wanted to swear in the past couple days and didn't. Except I can't remember them all. But there were a few today. Like when I had a meeting with my professor and found out that three of those attachments on the blackboard submissions failed, and I didn't know. How am I supposed to know you didn't get those assignments when you never post grades, you aggravating attractive grad student teacher man? "shi...oot!" did not swear.

The time I was running across the parking lot on my way into the doctor and slipped into the foot deep puddle of subzero water. And the following four hours of frozen feet and sopping wet clothing. Because it's April, and I live in Logan, and sometimes slush falls from the sky at innapropriate times. "da....ang!" did not swear.

The time I had Katie's car and couldn't find the snow scraper. Car covered in slush and wet crap + no scraper= very wet, numb hands. Which in turn equals a lot of difficulty doing basic things like signing reciepts and zipping up your wallet and you know, driving. "oh, my" did not swear.

So, here's to alternative, non expletive expressions. Because dad is right, and they are more ladylike. Also, I feel this enormous, perhaps irrational, sense of satisfaction every time I want to swear and don't, and I also realized that swearing is kind of opposite of being grateful and that is not really the goal. That was very molly mormon of me. Go ahead, Sarah. I know you are snickering at me. Snicker away.

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